Chapter Three. The best is yet to come.

It’s complicated

We, people in general, tend to overcomplicate things. Life’s fairly simple when you think about it. We’re born. Some things go wrong and some things go right. Some of us are lucky and some of us are incredibly unlucky. Some people like us and some people don’t. We make friends and we lose them. Then at some point it all has to end and most of the time people are sad to see other people go, regardless of what we may have done or not done, because at the end of the day the loss of life is simply sad.

This isn’t coming from a place of complete randomness. Life has feltย overwhelmingly complicated recently.

When I nipped quickly into the Paperchase at London Euston a couple of weeks ago to grab a diary because things were a little crazy and I needed to keep track, I was just excited to be back from travelling, to be rolling on with work and to have so many fantastic plans ahead.

This week I’ve done nothing but wish life was simpler. I’ve felt like I’m losing track. Suddenly work feels like my whole life and as much as I love my job, I can’t help freaking out about all the important things I don’t have time for. Basically, remember all them worries I had before I started work about not having time for all of the people I love or not having time to do the things I love to do? Well I see where they were coming from. The days haven’t felt as long as they did in the beginning and there’s not enough time and everything’s been a muddle.

Then out of nowhere, today has been simple.

I simply slept for as long as I needed and then rolled out of bed at 11am.

Dave cooked a not so simple, very impressive breakfast but I helped where I could and sipped tea when I couldn’t.

I sat outside and read my book and then I got too hot and moved indoors. Then I convinced Dave to walk round to McDonald’s with me and we bought McFlurrys.

We don’t feel like cooking, so we’re simply ordering in.

I feel like today has done me the world of good. Stepping out of the craziness of it all for just a little while has put my feet back on the ground again. I feel like I’d been swept up in a flurry of madness and now I’m back on solid ground.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I can see now that for all my wishing that life could be simpler, it really wasn’t that complicated in the first place.

I may not have made time for everyone I love every day but they hadn’t made time for me either and that’s fine. I may not have felt like I was seeing enough of everyone, but actually they’re all as much a part of my life now as they ever were. I think that’s the thing about adult relationships. They don’t stop just because you haven’t heard from each other in a week.

I may not have been singing every night or doing the things I know I love to do, but the things I’d been doing instead, I’d loved doing too. Even the simple things like coming home, cooking dinner and collapsing on the sofa next to Dave.

I may not have been happy 24/7, but when I wasn’t happy I was simply tired because things had been manic or I was hungry because, well I’m always hungry. Why do I expect to be happy every minute of every day anyway!?

Lesson learned. It is only us, ourselves, that overcomplicate life. It is as complex or as simple as we want it to be, no matter how busy our schedules are. It’s all about perspective.

Got. to. stop. overthinking. everything.

Old habits die hard.


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